Open Letter to My New Endocrinologist

Well – that happened!

Not quite sure where to start, or if it will matter anyway. I don’t expect this to be read, least of all understood and considered; however it behooves you to listen to experience.

I presented myself at your office with several challenges and opportunities, key of which is my determination to move forward with health goals in 2015 – a new approach after failing again and again for years. I was scheduled several months ago, though I changed the appointment because I knew I wasn’t ready – now I am.

I gave honest and forthright input into various conditions, and how I am pursuing a rational and realistic approach to healthcare moving forward: Incorporating structure in my life, incremental change, monitoring and gathering data, and setting achievable goals.

I understand that time is a precious commodity – it is fundamental in my life as a project manager, though I’d like to step back for a minute and outline some history briefly.

• 5 years with diabetes
• Defaulted on commitments with previous specialists
• Defaulted on commitments with education clinic programs (twice)
• Mental health issues – depression/anxiety/ADD/ Bipolar

What I want to summarize about this is I have had to fight my way to this point – through crisis and adversity – managing career, family, and all the pressures daily to succeed, to be dependable, and to be productive. I have done it on my own – and determined the path that works for me. I have put processes in place to address challenges, assess options, and keep going.

My prediction for a successful outcome with your recommendation and referral to an education program is limited to about 40% or less. I’ll take it one step further and say that I see two outcomes:

  1. 1.Attempt to access consultation with yourself on improving my diabetes – through engaging in a clinic – though I see this as an uphill battle wasting time that will end in frustration and disengagement.
  2. After going through an uncertain process over the next several months when I don’t have time to dispose and negotiate, find myself back on my own – and this time I’ll take care of it my way.

I could go into detail about my options and experience with diabetes treatment and clinics, though I’ll make the following clear:

• Education programs are not tailored to the individual. It’s a shoe-horned approach.
• Information is often superfluous – or not presented with participants learning in mind.
• Change is “expected” by practitioners, who see clients as malleable and able to incorporate all – as though they were empty vessels.
• Conflict by practitioners is the preferred response when challenged for any reason.
• Practitioners are dismissive – not supportive.

Search engines use tags to narrow information as metadata. I randomly created some tags summarizing my appointment at your office to give me key words to reflect on. They are quite revealing:

Rushed; Hectic; Up and down in different rooms; Resident – not primary doctor; Not taking time to listen or hear; Shoe-horning; Unable to communicate the way I needed; Was met with ‘we know best’ approach; Overlooked in the process to get out the door and move on; anxiety and experience – déjà vu; Stress and prediction of poor outcome; No follow up scheduled; Wait and see approach – not proactive; Contradicted/ opposed; cynical; no encouragement.

In conclusion, I now have to assess the consultation and try to gain some kind of perspective, to avoid cynicism in my life and see what I opportunities I can squeeze out of the experience. One thing’s for sure – I am not going to ‘own it’ if it goes South. I have better things to do with my time, like moving forward.

I hope this input is valuable and I await a call at some future time, for a program of unknown length and content, with uncertain outcomes.

Regards

Brian Scott.

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